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i came home from michigan today

i like to be alone, but at the same time i hate it

sometimes you have something good and you

keep convincing yourself its all ok and good

but it really does a lot of damage to your being

and after that attitude problem realization

all the positive aspects dont matter

the negatives draw me away from you

i feel better, but i feel torn

always making me feel guilty

yeah i joked about the things around you

but you joked about the things in me

you felt hurt by what i say

but im not allowed to be hurt by what you said

because its still my fault

why cant you keep a smile

even if its fake

i sure did

it was hard

but atleast i didnt rip you to shreds

with my annoyence of your hipocracy

i hate your friends 

and you hate mine

you blame me for calling my family for help

telling me im edging you off

you hate everything about me

and was embarressed by everything i ever did

and i was just trying to free the real me

but every time i pulled something out of my sleeve

that represented the real me

you would yell at me 

telling me to change

even though you didnt betray me to others

like some other people that you still kept close

you betrayed me to myself

i never knew there was two kinds of bad friends

ones who kill you to other people

and ones who kill you personally

how did i last so long being your friend?

it just killed me

every thing had to be about you

yes i had some fun times

but your jokes are no laughs to me

i dont want to hear about the stupid things i say anymore

bossybossybitch

everyone always told me that

but i would stick up for you

knowing i was just lying through my teeth

i lost myself

but now im on a journy to finding myself

im sorry i forced you into spending a great getaway with me

but you just seemed like you had no care

it hurts to loose a friend to your enemy sister

she tells more to her than me

and told me she never talked to her

i knew it was a lie to the start

and it showed

freshman and sophmore year are over

and im overjoyed to see im not in any of your classes

its easier to get away

even tho im left with nothing

i got rid of all that clutter

but am left with an empty space

this is me just ranting

but its the stuff i could never say

because it would be my bad

GET OUT OF MY LIFE

10 THINGS I HATE ABOUT YOU, 10 RULES TO BEING MY FRIEND

1. I always consider or take advice from people

so i deserve the same, take some advice 

2. dont make fun of me, im trying so hard to break through

3. when i tell you my biggest problem, dont act like its nothing

i know its not, it basically controlls me, so dont blame me if 

im being unsocial, thats what i want sometimes, understand that

4. dont talk to my older mean sister more than me, thats the thing that

pisses me off the most, understand she dented my life, and still bullys me

5.when theres a problem, talk it out with me right away from beginning to end

because i can get vicious if i have to wait

6. dont ignore me, id rather have you tell me you have a problem with me

than to leave me hanging on a wall

7. I listen to all your love stories, i help you out, do the same back

8. dont be embarresed by other people, i want friends who pull me to the limit, who make  me jump into a lake with my clothes on, who make me say funny  things to strangers

9. if you wanna be on my BEST side, watch a TON of movies with me, and be able to 

discuss them (thats my favorite thing to do)

10. dont judge me when i try wearing new clothes or try having new hairstyles or colors

im an experimenter thats what makes me me.