I realized

I am horrible with words and actions.

lately i have just been a veiwer. i dont like to talk really.

Its weird because i used to want to be a writer,

but i have realized this is hard for me 

WORDS ARE SO HARD

my head is deffinatly different than "normal people"

i think this is why i love art. because 

i dont have to speak

i dont have to explain

i dont have to listen

its just me and these colors. 

images make sence to me more than reading.

a lot like my mom i talk the most but say the least

(sorry mom, but you do have some good things to say)

i have also found i hide behind food

i am socially awkward

i act strange when im uncomfortable thinking i am trying to be more comfortable but then find it too challenging to be normal

maybe im not that person that i wanted to be

maybe i am just another face in the crowd

gag me to say this but maybe i do blend in.

I cant be funny or original.

So whoever im with for the next few weeks, try to enjoy my compony by sitting in silence. we dont have to talk, just make it clear that everythings ok.

im trying to recover from this last drop.

i need to be loved

for a simple hug hurts so much that it feels so good.

i need someone to hold me who really means it.

sad. but true.

i need sleeeeeeeep.